Climb out of the darkness

On June 24, 2017; I was honored to participate in Climb out of the Darkness 2017. This is such an awesome way I could participate in something that meant so much to me and was so close to my heart. Climb out of the darkness is a walk done in all parts of the world to raise money for PPD and other maternal mental health disorders. It is done on the longest day of the year (or closest to the longest day of the year) to represent light being brought into the dark. It has taken me a couple weeks to put this all together and write this entry.

Since there was not a climb near me, I packed up my kids and drove to Concord Ma. Almost a 2 hour drive away. This is not an easy task with my anxiety. First of all, it was raining. So the idea of driving, with 2 children in the car, under the age of 5, 2 hours, in the rain; doesn’t sound too appeasing. Now, normally, I usually back out of these situations and just say “I’m not going.” But this was a very special event to me, being that I myself have suffered from these conditions, and I don’t know many women like me, I wanted to go to meet other moms and participate. So, I packed up my kids, packed the snacks, umbrellas, diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, and began driving. The drive down was okay. My 16 month old was fussy towards the end. BUT I MADE IT!

Unloading the car is always a task. 2 kids to get out, seatbelts, bags, had to change the baby, shoes. Then we head down to the walk. We immediately meet a few of the moms. They were so welcoming and open. As soon as I meet a few moms, I feel more comfortable. And we begin the walk. I wear my baby in the carrier, and my 5 year old walks with me. She chatters the whole way through about all the things she sees. I’m not one to venture out a whole lot, especially outdoors, so we’ve never been on a hike. This walk is 1.5 miles around a pond. I’m feeling proud that I have been able to bring my girls to this.

After we complete the walk, my girls want to take off their shoes and wade in the pond. So, my first thought is “what a mess this will make”. But, I decide that it didn’t matter that day. So, the kids took off their shoes and played in the pond. Until it began to pour. So, mom (me) grabbed everything (including the baby), and ran back to the car. I get everyone changed (again) into clean clothes, and begin the drive home praying everyone will fall asleep:).

As we drive home, the clouds clear and the sun begins to come out. And I thought, what a great sign. Just like the weather today, the climb out of the darkness relates so well. The day began dark and gloomy, then it poured, and the sun shined so beautifully at the end.

Climb out of the darkness, much like my personal battle with PPD and anxiety. I cant say the sun shines strong everyday. I have definitely had my cloudy days, I’ve had days when it has poured. And I see days sometimes when the sun comes out. I wish it could be more sun than anything, but I am not there yet. The climb was an amazing experience, one I hope to have every year, and even hope to host one soon.

I am one in seven xoxo Jessica




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